As all the characters come together in the same storyline and the series loses meaning, finding something to write gets much harder. I think this will be my shortest post. That’s why I want to discuss things other than the series that caught my eye. This episode proved that not enough money was spent on the show. When I say it’s an amateur job, I don’t mean it in the name of humiliation. The series is really devastated in the hands of 2 amateurs. Renewing what I wrote in the third episode and moving on to my subject headings: Everyone who plays in this series will express their regrets in the future.
FIRST TWO EPISODE REVIEW
THIRD EPISODE REVIEW
FOURTH EPISODE REVIEW
FIFTH EPISODE REVIEW
Cringefest Wars
Eventually, the Numenorean army, on their way to Middle-earth, found the orc-infested village in the Southlands as if they had GPS. I thought the tower shown in the last episode would be used to give a message, but our tower was worse than Jenga, and it collapsed when a rope was cut. If the message was given by lighting fire, and the Numenor army saw this, it would still make some sense. There are 2 more ridiculous aspects of the Numenor army scene, which I will talk about in a moment. Where was the Numenoran army galloping to? How come the Numenoran army was riding at sunrise while the villagers were fighting at night? Even more funny, the village where the war occurred is further east. So the sun should rise early there.
I can’t say that I enjoy the battle scenes because it is hard to enjoy when the scenes turn to cringefest. For example, you can’t do the same scene 3 times in one episode. Just as the great orc was about to slay Arondir, who could not have guessed that that orc would die and it would be at the hands of Bronwyn? There is a fixed angle where Americans put the camera when a character is going to die. As soon as you see this angle, you know someone will stab by a sword in the back. I’ll give a very distant example; in the third episode of Game of Thrones season eight, Eddi kills the White Walkers who have climbed on Sam and saves him. Then the camera takes precisely this position that I am talking about. Eddi dies there, but I knew he would die before he died just because of this camera angle.
Come on, you made this cliché before. Bronwyn saved Arondir, but the same scene happened 2 more times in the episode. Two episodes ago, Arondir rescued Theo in the same way. So technically, they applied the same cliché in almost all of the “life or death” moments. In every battle, someone comes from behind and saves someone constantly.
I’m not even getting into Galadriel’s cringe-mounted moves. Because we can’t get out. When the villagers realized they were fighting their own friends, they got me there too. It was a good idea. But the aftermath is so lousy that the whole beautiful plan is ruined. The main problem here is that they ascribed human feelings to the orcs. This is one of the problems at the bottom of everything.
Orcs Demanding Citizenship
Just as the orcs are going to break into the house and kill Bronwyn, they stop at Adar’s orders and take the people inside hostage. Look, these hostage-taking jobs are cheap movie things. The creature we call an orc is not much different from a zombie. They are pure evil, mindless, and killing machines. Orcs who entered that house would not take anyone hostage; they would kill everyone. However, the series humanizes the orcs, especially through Adar.
Adar’s speech to the orcs, and his tête-à-tête with Galadriel, show that the orcs are asking for citizenship. From this point of view, all the elves, especially Galadriel, turn into a genocider. How to not laugh at that?
It turned out that Adar was one of the first Elves, as I wrote in chapter 4, that is, even older than Galadriel. We could soon learn that he is the creator of the orcs around him.
Hydrant Explosion
As Waldreg inserted the famous sword into the keyhole and turned it, the dam’s gates opened, and the waters poured into Mount Doom, causing it to explode. It was an excellent episode to see how Mordor was formed. Now that area will be plunged into complete darkness. Just as Melkor did in the first age. But they ruined even this beautiful idea with their childish scenarios.
Why is that key there? Is this the Indiana Jones universe? Why is Melkor or anyone else making stealth games for future use? Melkor or Sauron, if they can and can do evil at the moment, they will do it immediately. So it’s utter nonsense to put the idea of blowing up the mountain into the future.
The explosion was nice; yes, I liked it. I also liked Galadriel’s helpless stance. What can you do anyway? But I wish they had set it up in a different way. This was the part that best suited the epicness of The Silmarillion so far.
When I say Hydrant Explosion, I mention red fire hydrants in the American streets. Sometimes they explode in movies, and it’s cool. Well, that’s precisely what they did in the episode.
Where is the Money?
It is claimed that a billion dollars were spent on the series. However, it is not possible to believe it while watching the series. Because the series turns around with a tiny cast in a very narrow space. And that makes me question. The number of places we see in the series is always the same. There are so few embankments that we literally passed the whole Southlands between the tower and village. We even fought the war in the village for some reason.
Let’s take a look: The Tree in Lindon, Celebrimbor’s House, Khazad-Dum General, Durin’s House, Dwarf King’s Chamber, Southlands Village, Southlands Tower, Numenor palace, and streets. That is all. And some scenes in the forests, of course. On the other side, House of the Dragon has many sets. There is Harenhall, there is Storm’s End, King’s Landing, Driftmark, Stepstones, and Dragonstone. I won’t even go into the interior details of these places. There are lots of different sets in every venue. And the show’s budget is almost half of The Rings of Power.
So I’m questioning, where did you spend the money? There is a possibility that they spent all of it on visuals. But I think most of the money is now spent on PR. I can’t use Twitter without getting angry because of fake and paid accounts that say the best episode to every new episode. Even huge websites are writing fake articles to launder the series. They can’t do that either because they are aware of the situation.
If you ask me, this series is a very serious pile on Amazon. And this stake is the work of 2 amateur and malicious producers.
Children’s Scenario
If you had a newly graduated screenwriter write the script for the series, it wouldn’t be so bad. There are so many cliché scenes that it’s hard for me to focus anymore. On top of that, the gaps in the script are also disturbing. And most of this is deliberate. In other words, the series repeats all the cliches in almost every episode and tells us don’t question them.
Let’s count on a few examples. The villagers do not have food, but they have the opportunity to forge iron, thank goodness. The destruction of the tower with a single arrow. They prefer to fight in the village instead of the tower with high walls. It is night in the village while the horses run during the day. After the war ends, they set up a big table and eat. Orcs using rams instead of burning houses. As Galadriel was chasing Adar, somehow Halbrand came across them.
As far as I understand, the screenwriters took note of the parts they liked in their material. They take note of the elements they think are good in movies and try to show them all in one way or another without reasoning. Why is there a battering ram? Because it was in the Two Towers. Why does the Arondir keep flying? Because Legolas did too.
Unfortunately, they built the whole series on being able to make a few points they determined. Let Mount Doom erupt. How? Not important. Just make it explode. Let’s see the army of Numenor at full gallop. Where are they running? Not important. Let’s just see. Instead of killing the great orc Arondir, he constantly throws it. Why? Not important. As long as the fight continues.
Last word…
It is said that the shooting of the series’s second season is starting, but I have a hard time believing it. Because I am sure that no one watches this series and does not take it seriously. Except for the paid trolls on social media.
I wrote the fourth episode and said, what is the subject of this series? In the fifth episode, we understood that the series is about the Numenor army rescuing the villagers. But now we are in the middle again. There are two more chapters, and can any of you guess what will happen in the following chapters? What can be told? I can’t. Because the show isn’t going anywhere. This is a billion-dollar fiasco driven by purely “top-down” ideas.
You will say, why are you still writing? This is my job. Writing. I will write whether it is good or bad. I call the good if it’s good, bad if it’s bad, and I list the reasons.